one hundred twenty one

Literally only about a week and a half before i’m done with college for quite some time into the foreseeable future, which, for me, only stretches a few weeks ahead. It’s strange, school being such a large part of your life for, well, a large portion of your life. About eighteen years i’ve spent in school of some sort. Eighteen years. I can barely even handle it, especially because i can barely recall life before seventh grade.

It’s odd for many reasons. A lot of my friends are already spread across the country, but now pretty much every single one will be elsewhere, and i, too, will be elsewhere. It’s a bigger separation than the one when i left Ireland or high school, because now there aren’t a large pool of humans that i’ll have in my friend pool. Things narrow, or so i’m told, and i won’t really have a base anymore, being in a new country and all that. It’s exciting, but scary, though it doesn’t feel real yet. Not like leaving Ireland, where the immediacy began to hit and just suck the life out of me with dread. It’s more of an excitement, like something big is just beyond my fingertips. It’s, well, i don’t rightly know how to put it. It’s bizarre, to be sure.

Still a lot of things to be done for school these last couple of days, and i need to find a job or something this summer, which is ever-approaching. Frightening.

I don’t want to grow up and i probably won’t.