go to sleep, dear

Just go to sleep. Close your eyes.

There’s a fly in my room and it makes me want to kill myself. I slept for an hour last night because I knew it was in here and he’s still here, watching me with his compound eyes from the ceiling or wall, somewhere I can’t see him in the dark.

A fly, a fly, oh no, a fly! I hope it dies soon because I can’t kill it. That was the nice thing about having a house full of guys through college, they’d kill my bugs for me. It’s not that I can’t, technically, or have some strong conviction in their right to life, but, like, it’s so unpleasant, killing things, and then there’d be the bugdeathjuice on my wall or ceiling or floor and whatever I used to kill it.

I just want it to go away, leave me alone. There’s not room for me and insects in this world.

I’ve been infrequent this month, but there’s been little to report beyond my ballooning sleepdebt. I went to Mokpo for a day this last weekend, which was dope [making that word happen again]. I’ve found where all the pretty girls in Korea are hiding, and it’s Mokpo, randomly. I’ve lived in Gwangju a while now, and, really, I find attraction scarce, which is likely why I can’t take any of it seriously.

Being phoneless doesn’t help. Ever taken a bus across a country to meet someone? I have, but I had a phone in that world.

I don’t know how people functioned without phones and internet. I’d be useless in that world.

I’d name the fly if I didn’t hate him so much. I’d name him Archduke Archibald and write a song about him. I’d sing it until his exoskeleton collapsed upon him and he turned dry and dead, like a giant mote of dust.

So it goes. Another sleepless week.

I made another plan and if I can keep my head on straight for a few days, I’ll implement it.

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