i’ll be there soon, beautiful

It’s strange how the people who make me happy can also make me so sad.

I feel a bit depressed. It hurts me to know that people I care about are sad.

And they sound sad.

Sometimes I think it’s my fault, that the women in my life fall on hard times when I’m not around. Like I should’ve done things differently. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her alone. Maybe I should’ve been better.

Europe soon, though. Scarily soon. Amazingly soon. And when I think of her, biting her lip, saying the things only she can say, it’s as if it never mattered.

And maybe that’s worse, that she makes me not care about the women who’ve made and defined my life. Who would I be without them? Who am I without them?

But I’ll be with her soon and that’s really all I need. I’m super unprepared, however. Meant to finish a lot of things this week, too, but I’ve done absolutely nothing.

Maybe tomorrow.

I’ll be with you soon, beautiful.

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