this weight

Sometimes I feel the passage of time not as a sliding but as a crushing.

Weary. So weary. Yet to readjust to a full schedule of work and I remember how horrible it is to work in tedium, but so it goes. All things are temporary, especially this. But I find it especially wretched, to do a task that is mindnumbingly tedious but also requires just enough attention to never truly let your thoughts wander. When you’re painting a building or plastering a wall or even putting down a new floor, your thoughts are your own and are free as your body toils in the world of physicality, but in this office setting, sitting for eight hours before a toobrightscreen, your thoughts are pulverised to the task at hand.

Anycase, I’ll adjust soon, likely. Then I’ll be able to use my nights better. More actively.

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