i will live forever

Remember when Devendra Banhart was going to save music?

What ever happened to that?

I’ve had a lot of thoughts over the last month and haven’t shared any on here. I connected this site to my facebook. I don’t know why. Maybe to harass my friends with more commentary on society and so on.

Today I spent a lot of time reading this three part investigation on what happens to soldiers who return from war. All those young men, and not so young men, who return broken, not only physically, but mentally. The invisible scars of war that ravage a generation. My generation. The people of the country I have to forever be a part of by the strange accident of being born here, and not somewhere else. Anycase, it’s at the Colorado Springs Gazette, done by David Phillips.

Part I

Part II

Part III

It’s honestly heartbreaking. Unbelievably powerful. It’s difficult to read at times because of how brutal life is to these people.

Barack Obama’s administration is spying on the press, spying on us, spying on everyone. Sending drones to kill them. Detaining anyone and everyone. We’re running into tyranny and the president stands there and tells us that he’s slowing down, that it’s not that bad, that we’re in danger, unless everything is known.

Unless it’s us that want to do the knowing. Then all is secret.

The Nobel Laureate who promised a transparent government has been more secret and more vicious towards those who reveal those secrets than any president since Nixon, and I’d argue that he’s actually worse.

People call for impeachment but they want it for something frivolous. What about war crimes? What about crimes against humanity?

Rios Montt’s conviction has been annulled. Genocide is never punished, especially by those on the side of the Great Powers.

I’m obsessed with totalitarianism.

Maybe there’s no justice.

Anycase, what is all this? I guess I’m rambling. My thoughts feel jumbled and scattered. I feel bizarre.

But in twenty four hours I’ll be with the woman I love.

It’s hard to believe sometimes. Just fifteen months ago I met her so far away. And then I spent everything I had, gave everything I had to make it work, and she gave back. She gave me purpose where there was none. And now, I’ll be seeing her again, and in just a few weeks we’ll be finally together. In a real way. A lasting way. She’s moving here and we’ll finally be together.

These thoughts stampede.

I have a lot of work to do, I guess. I need to be ready to go by, like, 545am tomorrow.

What is the purpose of this post?

I always have so many things I want to say all day and then I get to my computer and there’s nothing here.

What is the purpose of this post?

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